Welcomeback everyone! Thank you for staying tuned in to the blog and giving me your undivided attention! Tonight I wanted to discuss the 5 stages of grief. I feel they aren't talked about enough! We are all going through something difficult and I don't personally consider it common knowledge that the stages of grief apply to all different types of tragedy. I didn't know this until later in life, when my counselor pointed it out to me, so I wanted to share my experience with it, in hopes that someone can grasp ahold of why they are feeling certain emotions in their own situations. The following are the five stages.
In the following links, you will be able to see my experience navigating through these stages of grief:
Now, I didn't number these on purpose because we all go through our own processes and in each situation, our reactions will differ. But the important thing to remember, is that the order of these steps are interchangeable. You might go through two of the steps, back and forth, repetitively for a while before you end up going through all of them. Also, just because you have been through all of them, doesn't mean that you aren't past the situation. But don't let the confusion get you down! What matters, is how you get through the individual step when it comes.
Some people won't even acknowledge situations for how bad they are. You can find yourself here maybe when someone's cheating and you know and have the idea, but you refuse to seek out the proof. Ignoring how you feel can also be a representation of denial. I've come to find that the best way to work through this is to talk about what happened with someone you trust. Admit the situation and acknowledge what is really happening.
"There's no way." "She wouldn't do that". "I don't think he's that type of person."
When you are just short of KNOWING something happened are all examples of this.
This stage usually comes when you have acknowledged a situation. To me, it's a blaming stage. You have to be careful when you are working through the anger stage of grief because when you are overwhelmed with emotions, it impairs your ability to be methodical during your situations. For example, cheating. If you aren't thinking straight, you can make a bad decision and get in trouble. (Which is what you DON'T want.)
When you've reached the bargaining stage, this is when you contemplate your further options. This is the confusing stage where you don't know what to do. You weigh all your options... But the special part of this phase, is when you are considering all of your options, it can send you right back to denial or being angry. People give up because they cannot handle the cycle of their emotions, but give yourself mental breaks! Talk with someone and sort out how you feel!
Sometimes people go through the motions and get depressed about the situation, really at any point through the process. Sometimes you have to recognize that you can only affect what's in your control. So look at the things that you CAN do and go through your options. It's important to seek out help if you feel signs of prolonged depression or show signs of suicidal thoughts. Please keep talking to people! It's healthy and you ARE NOT alone!
Acceptance is when we have found a way to cope appropriately with a situation. I wouldn't say that necessarily means you have "moved on". Because you can be in the acceptance phase for years and then come crashing back and ride this carousel of emotions all over again. Don't fret when you feel you've gone back in time like that. Just move through the steps again as swiftly as possible and rely on whatever support system you have. There will always be easy days and hard days; be prepared to take on both.
Cheating, deaths, trauma, mistakes of our own, etc are all times we can move through these 5 stages of grief. The important part is that you stay as strong as possible, seek out help from your support system -sometimes a professional- and get the assistance you need to make due. The stages of grief are common, but they look different when each person wears them and rarely are people in the same stage at the same time. Just keep trying! You can do this!
Share your own stories of grief with your loved ones as well! It just might help someone who has never experienced it yet. As you read through the Welcome to My Darkest Hours: Part 12&3, you will be able to understand how I go through those stages. Please feel free to message me if you have any questions! I understand that it can be a lot to wrap your head around. Think back to a difficult time and try to reflect and identify these steps, so you can use this knowledge later to understand the roadmap you can have during tough times!