Someday, you won't feel so small.
You're always second-best to everyone else. You always give everything you have and get just short of bare minimum in return every time. You always give the benefit of the doubt for others' feelings and no one thinks of you. And if they do think of you, you're still not first, because of obligations elsewhere.
You're tired, broken, damaged, and the baggage you have has become far too much to carry. You want to move from point A to point B, get through day by day, or maybe hour by hour, but everything feels too overwhelming. You want to go to sleep. You want to quit.
I know. I know that everything has been hard. I know that things have been impossible. I know that you've run out of fight. I know that you've run out of reasons.
To have so much love and no where to put it feels like being confined. It feels restricting.
You feel different. Because you know if you move forward, words that once rolled so easily off your tongue are met with haste, confusion, and indifference. You feel like you're a different person. You don't understand what you should say and shouldn't say anymore. There's been a rift in your judgement and you don't know who to trust with your heart.
And all the while you are searching for resolve, people are still expecting too much from you. It feels unfair. All you want is a little silence, a little peace, a little less confusion, and people keep pushing for you to give more. But, you don't have anything left to give.
What if I told you that maybe, just maybe, somebody somewhere is going through something hard in life, that will shape them into the person who is perfect for you? What if I told you that you CAN be loved? What if I told you that this hurt you're experiencing is only a chapter in your story and the next one has all the potential in the world? What if I told you that instead of making sacrifice after sacrifice to be with someone, someday, you will have someone who will ACTUALLY compromise with you?
You feel weak right now, but you are strong. You feel tired, but your energy will come back. You feel abandoned, but you are not alone. You feel damaged, but you are loved.
I promise, you are loved. You may not be able to see it now, but you are.
You can hate them for hurting you. But, at some point, they made you feel worthy of love. And that is yours to keep.
But losing you? That is their loss and not your burden to carry.
There is someone out there, going through a million difficult things, shaping them into a beautiful soul. And those things will have made them perfect for you.
"I forgive you. Not for you, but for me. Because like chains shackling me to the past, I will no longer pollute my heart with bitterness, fear, distrust, or anger. I forgive you because hate is just another way of holding on, and you don't belong here anymore." - Beau Taplin